“He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?” So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.’”
We understand that marriage was designed by God. He created man and woman, and designed marriage as the most intimate of all relationships. But why? What is the purpose of marriage? If we were to walk the streets and interview people, asking them, “Why did you get married?”, I think the most common reply would be, “I got married to be happy.” I don’t think every married couple is happy, but I think that it is the motivation behind most marriages. We think being with that person will make us happy. But I want you to notice what we read regarding God’s design in marriage: “It is not good for man to be alone…” (Genesis 2:18). It was not for man’s happiness alone that God designed marriage, but instead, for his good.
Let me remind you of another very familiar verse:
“And we know that all things work together for good for to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
Paul is reminding us that God uses everything in our lives for good. But what is the good? Does he mean everything in our life is designed to make us happy, or healthy, or wealthy? If we look at verse 29, Paul continues:
“For whom he foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son…”
What is the good that everything is working toward? What is the good that marriage was designed to provide? It is the good of being made more like Jesus. Everything in our lives is like a tool in the hand of God, which He uses in order to make us more like Jesus. The difficult boss, the rain on your wedding day, receiving the promotion, finding money you did not know you had, are all tools God uses to make us comparable to Jesus. What is the tool that He uses the most? Once you get married, I think that tool will be your spouse. In fact, the marriage relationship is the closest thing the unbeliever will see of a relationship with the Lord. The husband’s love is compared to Christ’s love for us, and the wife’s obedience is compared to the obedience the believer is to show to Christ.
We need to learn not to look to our spouse to make us happy. It is too great a burden for them to carry. We need to learn to look to the Lord, and allow the Lord to mold and shape us into the image of Christ.
Questions on Chapter 19