Genesis 29:26
“And Laban said, ‘It must not be done so in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn.’”
All families have some level of dysfunction, but Jacob’s household was a mess. What started with a surprise unveiling the morning after the wedding, grew into a family with two wives competing for the love of one husband. As time moved on, things got worse rather than better. Children were born into the family out of wedlock, and his wives were making back room deals as to who was going to spend the night with Jacob. It is little wonder, when these kids grew up, they had emotional issues and were willing to sell a brother into slavery. What happened to this family to create such chaos?
Genesis 29:26 “And Laban said, ‘It must not be done so in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn.'”
Tradition can be a good thing. We have a 30 year old tradition in our family, of meeting at my wife’s parents house for Monday night dinner. In many ways, it is the highlight of the week for the kids. But when traditions are contrary to the Word of God, they are a bad thing. What was acceptable, and even expected in culture, caused Laban to trick Jacob into marrying both his daughters, and violating the ways of God. Marriage was designed by God to be between one man and one woman; and to last a lifetime. Jacob turned his marriage into two women, and two “other women”, and what followed was confusing to say the least.
It is not culturally accepted in America to have two or more wives simultaneously, but it has become acceptable to treat marriage as disposable. It is even common to hear couples, who are having difficulties in marriage, decide to call it quits “for the sake of the children.” We need to keep in mind that God designed marriage, and difficulties are not reasons to end a relationship, but to work on the relationship. Buying into the current cultural ideas of what a marriage should look like, or when a marriage should end, is wrong, and has long term affects on the kids. No matter how much we try to convince ourselves, a bad marriage or a broken marriage, will negatively affect the growth of our kids.
The answer is to stop looking at the world to define marriage, but to begin to look to the Word of God. God did not design marriage to be miserable, but to be a joyous relationship that would reflect the love He has for the world. If your marriage is less than that, perhaps it is time to look into the Bible for the blueprints of a healthy marriage. These texts were designed to help: Ephesians 5:22-33, 1Peter 3:1-7, 1Corinthians 7. Get together with your spouse and read through the Word, making any and all appropriate applications. Keep in mind, we cannot change another person, we can only change ourselves.
Pastor Jim
We have four sons and had to select names for each of them. When making our decisions, we looked through name books, considered family names, then ultimately chose names that we liked. Very little consideration was given to what, if anything, the names actually meant. In Biblical times, names mattered much more than they do today. A person was named for an event that transpired around their birth, or to describe a particular character trait. A son who came out of the womb with a lot of hair was called Esau or Hairy, and his twin brother who held on to his heel, was called Jacob, or heel catcher. This principle is particularly true as it relates to God. The names ascribed to God in Scripture are more than titles to distinguish Him from others. These names are like miniature portraits and promises that identify who He is and what He does.
Often, when we know of a Christian friend who is stumbling in their walk with Jesus, we are not sure what to do. They may have gotten involved in an ungodly activity or into a bad relationship, or simply stopped investing into their relationship with Christ. We want to help, but at the same time we fear that saying something will be construed as “judging them.” Jesus gives us, in this passage, a keen insight into how to deal with one another in the body. When you see something amiss in my relationship with Christ, the first place you should look is inward. Is there anything out of place in your relationship with Christ? What you find must be removed. The Biblical way of dealing with personal sin is found in 1John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive . . . and to cleanse…” Once you have “removed the plank,” it is time to look outward to see how you can help me “remove the speck.”
Proverbs 31 is a section of Scripture most often taught at women’s conferences or retreats, because it goes to great length describing a virtuous woman. A more careful look will reveal this passage was actually instructions to the King, by his mother. It was her attempt to teach him how to find a godly wife. We find not only the characteristics that a virtuous woman ought to pursue, but also the traits a godly man should be looking for in a wife.
Before becoming the Pastor of Calvary Chapel Vero Beach, I spent eight years teaching in the classroom. The first five years I taught in middle school and the final three in high school. Those years proved to be both a wonderful experience and an excellent training ground for raising my own children. My first year was interesting to say the least. I was 23 years old and newly married. I had little experience dealing with preteens, except for the fact that I had been one. My approach in the classroom could have been called the “whose your buddy” method. I attempted to be the cool teacher, who never gave out detentions, office referrals, or parent contacts. The result was chaos. After a few months, I spoke with an aunt who had been in education for years. When I asked for her secret to order in the classroom, she explained that she did not have disciplinary problems, because she had a standard the students understood and she stuck to. Soon after, I observed another teacher who clearly stated the classroom standards and kept to them. When a student misbehaved, she did not become emotional, losing her cool and raising her voice, she simply pointed out that he was breaking the rules, and disciplined accordingly. Those experiences transformed my ability to instruct the children. Instead of spending all my time, energy, and prayer life, dealing with discipline, I was able to teach.
The people in Zechariah’s day were beginning to realize their lifestyle was unacceptable to God. They concluded, the solution to unrighteous living was to fast on certain days. Prior to implementing their new religious program, they approached the prophet for guidance. He declared what they really needed to do was obey the Word of The Lord.
Nahum gives us essential insight into the true nature of God. He declares that “God is jealous.” Jealousy is a common term in our vernacular; usually used in reference to relationships. The dictionary defines jealous as, “feelings of envy or suspicion.”
Friendship is one of the most important parts of life. We were not designed to live in isolation or face all the struggles of life alone. We have some wonderful examples of friendship in Scripture. We are told that when Jonathan met David, he loved him as his own soul. He expressed this love by taking his armor and giving it to David (1 Samuel 18:4). As the son of the king, this action showed he believed David was chosen, by God, to reign in the land. From that time forward, Jonathan lived to encourage David to be the man God had called him to be. His actions illustrate Paul’s words to to the Philippians.
Jim Gallagher 