Proverbs 29:15
“The rod and rebuke give wisdom,
But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”Proverbs 29:17
“Correct your son, and he will give you rest;
Yes, he will give delight to your soul.”
Before becoming the Pastor of Calvary Chapel Vero Beach, I spent eight years teaching in the classroom. The first five years I taught in middle school and the final three in high school. Those years proved to be both a wonderful experience and an excellent training ground for raising my own children. My first year was interesting to say the least. I was 23 years old and newly married. I had little experience dealing with preteens, except for the fact that I had been one. My approach in the classroom could have been called the “whose your buddy” method. I attempted to be the cool teacher, who never gave out detentions, office referrals or parent contacts. The result was chaos. After a few months, I spoke with an aunt who had been in education for years. When I asked for her secret to order in the classroom, she explained that she did not have disciplinary problems, because she had a standard the students understood and she stuck to. Soon after, I observed another teacher who clearly stated the classroom standards and kept to them. When a student misbehaved, she did not become emotional, losing her cool and raising her voice, she simply pointed out that he was breaking the rules, and disciplined accordingly. Those experiences transformed my ability to instruct the children. Instead of spending all my time, energy, and prayer life, dealing with discipline, I was able to teach.
Solomon points out, this same principle should be applied to the home. We have all seen children misbehaving and parents doing nothing more than warning them to stop. As the child continues, the parent raises the level of his voice, until the parent has completely lost his cool. Soon, he begins to scream at the child, perhaps even grabbing the child forcefully by the arm, to snatch him up and leave without further embarrassment. If we are honest, we have not only seen that parent, but we have been that parent. The secret to successful discipline is having a clear biblical standard for our children. The result will be spending less time agitated and upset, and more time instructing and loving our kids.
Allow me to give a few guidelines. First, our standard is based upon how our Heavenly Father treats us. He is ever merciful and forgiving, and understands we are prone to failure. Never does God condone sin, but He is always ready to lovingly restore us when we fail. One common failure among parents is, putting standards on children that they themselves could not keep. Second, when we must exercise discipline, this should become a teaching time. Instead of allowing our emotions to take over and reacting in anger or frustration, we want to clearly point out how our child has misbehaved. We must explain what the Bible says about proper behavior, consequences, and forgiveness. This is a critical time to hug and pray with our children. Finally, we must be sure the punishment fits the crime. Are we upset at our child because his behavior was wrong or because it embarrassed us in front of our peers? I have seen parents horrified at their child because they bit another child in Sunday school. While it is wrong to bite other kids, in some cases, the parents were more embarrassed by how that made them look, than at the infraction of their toddler. I have even known parents to stop coming to church because of the embarrassment. Keep in mind, your child’s behavior is not always a representation of your parenting. After all, God’s kids ate the forbidden fruit. Don’t discipline out of embarrassment, but discipline with kindness and affection, for the infraction that has been committed.
Pastor Jim
Questions for Proverbs 29
1. Solomon has a lot to say about the wise man. Make a last of the traits of the wise from this chapter.
2. Course your life to the list and make any necessary changes.
3. If you are a parent, look through this chapter for what Solomon writes about children.
4. Choose a favorite verse from this chapter and write out your thoughts on how to apply it to your life.
Old Testament:
Zechariah 13- Stain Removal
Zechariah 14- Ready?
By this time, in the Nehemiah’s story, much has been accomplished. He has experienced the call of God that took him from a highly coveted position in the kings court to becoming a leader among the congregation of Israel. He has seen God provide for his personal needs as well as the needs of his new found ministry. He has seen the people who had been both divided and discouraged rally together to accomplish the work of God and build the city wall. With all that Nehemiah came to realize that the work was still incomplete. There was much more that God wanted to do in and through his life and ministry. As he looked out over the city he discovered that the people had yet to build their own homes.
God organized the campsite of Israel. The center of the camp was the tabernacle with the tribes encamped around it. Two basic principles governed setting up camp. First, the Lord was the central focus, every family was to camp within sight of the Tabernacle. They could hear the events transpire, smell the sacrifices and easily be part of what transpired there on a daily basis. Second, they were to camp under a particular banner or standard. Each tribe gathered with other tribes as they camped around the tabernacle .
Backsliding refers to a condition where a person who was once closely following the Lord, is now far from Him. Israel was in a condition of perpetual backsliding. They would turn, wander, or be led away from the Lord on such a regular basis, that their experience with God was more like a roller coaster or a pendulum, than a walk with God. Hosea speaks of God healing their backsliding. This in no way implies that backsliding is a disease a person has no control over. Instead, Hosea is suggesting that God is able to fix, restore or heal the damage done to a person during their backslidden state.
The days of Hosea were very dark; the nation had wandered from the ways of God and idolatry was as common in Israel as it was in the pagan nations that surrounded it. Just about every hilltop was the site of an altar to one false god or another, and immorality was rampant throughout the land. While many factors led to their diseased spiritual condition, Hosea addresses the primary one. He says the people were so easily led astray because of their lack of knowledge of God and His Word. This was both the fault of the individual and of the leaders.
It seems we have become a generation who blames our faults on others. No one wants to take responsibility for their own actions. Attitudes of the heart, as well as sinful behavior, are often blamed on our upbringing or our genetics. As much as this may seem like a modern problem, Ezekiel reveals this is actually a human nature problem. 2600 years ago this attitude was so commonplace it was captured in a proverb; the people could be heard saying,
Jehoiachin, the last King of Judah, will forever be known as the one sitting on the throne when the nation fell. The collapse was not entirely his fault, although his wickedness did play a part. While very few details are preserved regarding his actual reign, we are told that after 37 years in prison, he was suddenly released and treated favorably. Jeremiah does not give an explanation of the details leading up to his release, but as Scripture unfolds, we can uncover the heavenly reasons behind it.
Timothy is one of the stars of the New Testament. His story has all the makings of a blockbuster hit. When we are first introduced to him, he is a teenager described as “being well spoken of in all the churches.” We know that his commitment to Christ struck a chord with the apostle Paul, who invited him to join the ministry team and take the Gospel to the unreached people of the ancient world. While traveling with some of the greatest saints of all time, Timothy rose to the top and became Paul’s most trusted ally and closest friend. By the time his story comes to a close, he is pastoring one of the most influential churches the world has ever known, in the bustling city of Ephesus. We know his success in following and serving Christ had much to do with a teenage decision to surrender to Jesus and the influence of Paul, but we also find that he was greatly impacted at home.
1 Samuel opens by introducing us to Elkanah. We learn he was a godly man who was devoted to the Lord. We read he loved his family and sought to lead them in the things of the Lord. He made annual trips to Shiloh, to celebrate the feasts of the Lord. Time, money, or inconvenience was never used as an excuse to keep him from bringing his family to worship the Lord. However, Elkanah’s life was not without hardship. His wife Hannah was barren, and no matter what he did to express his love to her, she felt as though there was something missing. She longed for a child and he longed to make her happy.
Paul and his companions were traveling throughout Greece. They had been in Philippi, Thessalonica, and would soon be in Athens. These were all very prominent cities. Philippi was the foremost city in the region of Macedonia, and Athens remained the scholastic capital of the Empire. Berea, on the other hand, was a small town, which in the large scale of things, was pretty insignificant. No one would be impressed with someone from Berea. They were not known for their universities, trade, or monuments.
Jim Gallagher 